My Husband Doesn't Believe in Birthdays
My husband does not like his birthday. This is largely because he is not comfortable with attention. So each year we engage in our annual ritual birthday dance. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: So what do you want for your birthday dinner?
Ed: Oh, whatever
Me: Really, tell me
After several rounds, he comes up with a menu. This year he asked for “that pasta dish with the olives”. So I made pasta puttanesca. After last week’s foray into the land of obscure ingredients it was a relief to make something familiar and easy. He always gets a cake, usually a yellow cake with dark chocolate icing. Since he abhors parties, the cake has to be distributed among our friends and neighbors. This year I had the pleasure of having a little helper to decorate the cake. She is the granddaughter of our neighbor and our unofficial goddaughter. This little girl had a rough beginning and has had some trouble with behavior in school. Even as a baby she was anxious. Anxious children are drawn to Ed. He has a calm and non-judgmental manner that lets you know you are in a safe space. Our goddaughter fell in love with him the first moment they met when she was less than a year old. She used to call him “Him”. Now he is Mr. Ed and still her favorite. I am OK but Mr. Ed is an object of adoration. So, when I asked her grandmother if R could come and help ice Mr. Ed’s birthday cake, the answer was a resounding YES. My friend said R was beside herself with anticipation.
I baked the layers on Thursday and applied the crumb layer on Friday morning. When R arrived, the crumb layer was chilled and she and I put the “swirls” on. There was some grumbling about the lack of fancy decorations “what does Mr. Ed have against sprinkles?” No seven year old can understand the absence of sprinkles on a birthday cake, it’s sacrilege. After the cake was “swirled”, we cut a large piece and put a candle in it so we could all sing Happy Birthday to Mr. Ed. My sweet husband obliged his little fan by being the center of attention. Then he was gifted with a handmade birthday card. Next we cut small pre-dinner slices so that R and her grandmother could have some. R seemed to be a little disturbed and asked if she could have a candle too. Then I realized what was happening. She had had a wonderful week at school (per grandmother) and here she was surrounded by some of her favorite people. So I suggested that we light the candle on her cake and sing a congratulations song. So we sang while she beamed. Mr. Ed, of course, was very congratulatory. We sent our guests home with lots of cake since there are more people at their house to eat it. Then I made dinner: Linguine with puttanesca sauce, a green salad with shaved parmesan and birthday cake for dessert. (If you can’t have two desserts on your birthday then when can you). We had planned on Moscow mules but wisely delayed them until Saturday night.
My husband does not believe in birthdays, but he believes in loving children into their best selves, and that is why I love him.
Pasta Puttanesca
Ingredients:
1 lb pasta of your choice (I used linguine)
2 cans diced tomatoes
1-2 tbsp tomato paste
1-2 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, diced
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
1/8 tsp red chili flakes (more if you like it spicier)
¼ cup pitted kalamata olives
Grated parmesan for serving
Salt to taste
Instructions
Put the pasta on to boil
While the pasta is boiling make the sauce:
1. Heat 1- tbsp oil in a large deep sauce pan. Add the Italian seasoning and stir and sauté for 30 seconds. Add the diced onion and sauté until translucent
2. Add the garlic and sauté until the garlic is fragrant (about 30 seconds)
3. Add the diced tomatoes, olives and tomato paste. Add the chili flakes and salt to taste. Taste and adjust the seasoning.
4. When the pasta is barely al dente, add it to the sauce. Stir and let the noodles absorb the Sauce
5. Serve with a sprinkling of grated Parmesan.
